Friday, June 17, 2016

First time moments...

Things seemed out of balance, as if some cosmic nonsense was tipping the scales and not in my favor. I needed to recharge. Running around and absorbing other folks frantic energy wasn't helping. Potential relief materialized via a calendar reminder.

 I had forgotten about the annual museum mile festival and up until that morning went back and forth on whether I wanted to go or simply hide in my house at the end of the day. I thought, what the hell. I bounced the itinerary over to my colleague Sara who was more than happy to tag along.

Sara is one of those rare individuals filled with genuine positive energy and sunshine and a pleasure to be around.

Asking about which museum she wanted to hit first she suggested The Met, which is my favorite. She had never been. After clearing through security, I will never forget her excitement, squealing with delight and jumping up and down in front of an ancient statue of a Pharoah.

Balance restored.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016


One day, when I grow up, I want to create something as beautiful as this.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Shaken and Stirred

I was exhausted...emotionally, physically and everything else in between. I had enough energy to get up and go to the day job that I had checked out from three years prior…but the checks never bounced so hey, what was one more day right? Then, over the course of several months, a friend who had begun to mentally unravel tried to plug into me as her emotional caregiver. Week after week the messages were nonstop, trying to flush me out.  I would go home and curl up inside my reading chair like a ball.

Throw in a toxic family member who tried to draw me into their warped perception of life and my place within it and the final domino fell. On autopilot I informed every family member in close proximity to this person that I was exiting stage left for as long as I needed to and they were not to act as go between. The universe was on my side as no one objected having spotted that the writing on the wall was getting darker and more negative for years.  As for the friend, the parents finally stepped in and took her away to get her the help she needed. I was finally given an air pocket to breath, completely battered and bruised.

Slowly repairing the tracks, I zeroed in on one goal. I love books, all kinds of books, so I thought maybe I could start by asking some of those booksellers that were left if there was a spot for me within the stacks. Just a mental refuge, wasn’t looking for pay ( though that was on my list), just one step in front of the other. In a mental fog, I wandered into a bookstore that sold volumes that are way out of my budget, unless I were to hit the lottery. And the bookstore was the size of an office. I couldn’t hide behind a row of volumes, I was front and center. So I admired the books instead, gilt edges and all. There was one solitary shelf that had single books ( the rest were anthologies)  and one in particular kept grabbing my eye. Pulling it from the shelf I noticed it was a price I could afford and justify to myself as a birthday-thanskgiving-christmas gift to myself. Twenty minutes later it was carefully wrapped in tissue paper in a fancy bag coming home with me. I may not have left with a job,but something priceless.

Over the next few hours at home I marveled at its details. Hand painted pages and random passages underlined with faint black crayon. One passage highlighted about a soul being protected when in the midst of trials stuck out.  I fell asleep with the book propped in my arm. When I woke up I felt a little better. For the rest of the year when more upheaval arose, the book became my mental refuge. When the universe tapped me on the shoulder that I needed to finally break free from the job that was slowly killing my creativity, this book was in arms length. Its pages silently whispering encouragement. I may not be in a bookstore, but I am finally on the right path. Not so battered and not so bruised.

Monday, May 16, 2016

A room with a view

"I hate having to dress like a civilized member of society".

So did I.. grown up shoes, little black dress, pearls ( of the fake variety) and a plastered smile. After hours of noise, clapping and the clink of hollowed glasses, silence and space on the way home.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

All that glitters..

 It's a stare at antique clocks and drool over them kind of day...

Blowing off the dust particles...

And cobwebs off this digital portal..

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

pay attention to the signs

" If whispers don't get your attention, bricks will start flying your way".

They haven't been as quiet as a whisper, or as painful as a brick, but the sensation has been quite uncomfortable.

I guess the universe decided after checking off one thing on my list it would arrive at the next. And so the symptoms started to appear that first popped in a different area of my life last year:

Fatigue upon waking despite hours of sleep, dread upon arriving at my destination. The tell tale signs it is time to go. But this time it's a little easier to navigate these waters. I have more of a concrete footing of what I'm looking for. The reason why there hasn't been much activity on here, besides digesting and working in much valued feedback on the back story of the broken-nosed ghost in the fedora, (the light at the end of the tunnel is shining brighter now!), is that I've gone old school. Writing notes and rants to myself in a flesh and blood journal. Think the last time I did this with effort was in 10th grade.

In the words of Annette Hanshaw " That's All".. :)