a spoon full of sugar

if my week goes as nuts as the last one I am barricading myself in here:

New York Public Library-circa 1910

and I'm not coming out till Friday. I would rather deal with the antics of The Dutchman, The Bug and Mad Dog.

Banana oil

this is me after the most spastic week I've had in a long time. Thank god it's the weekend and I can detox and go back to mildly looking like a sane person....

guess I'm not the only one who was living in lala land, there's a man singing outside my window, off key without a care in the world and it's almost midnight.

sometimes...

Sometimes I wish I could jump in the picture and follow those tracks to the end.

Elevated tracks along 8th Avenue, 1905










Sometimes I wish I could jump in the picture to see what it was like..


Fifth Avenue-Easter 1915

And sometimes, I want to jump in just because....

Place Unknown, 1941

*all photos from Shorpy

stopped me in my tracks

running around the office like a cat chasing catnip, numbers to crunch thrown at me at all angles...

lunch time...dash down the stairs into the sauna better known as the subway to my second home that I haven't been to in awhile. Guards actually smile with a greeting " Where you been?"

" Hiding"

Sourly gatekeeper still there, wearing a wrist brace to go with his already somber ensemble of plaid shirts and thick glasses. Would have time to feel a nano second of sympathy but I'm too busy fighting with a broken microfiche machine and wondering if someone else sprained it on purpose. Clock ticks by.

Back to the office when I hear from the desk in the corner as I whizz by:

" You know, for a 29 year old woman you are very unusual...very unusual. But in a good way." A wide grin is on the source's face, a woman who does not shell out compliments on a regular basis.

"Thanks, I take that as a compliment."

"As you should!"

"I wouldn't want to be like everyone else."

details

dark corners illuminated by hanging globes, wood carved into mythical beings. The tiles white and black, gilt edged mirrors align the walls.

conversations of people around me...

" I turned up the lights because of the food, it's not too bright eh?" he says in a heavy Gaelic drawl.

" no, no, not at all. I thought you were trying to wake us up."

" Ahh my dear, you're a bright star all by yourself!"

" So being that they taught me the wrong way, I had to learn to survive."

" I had a Larry David moment, I went into...on Fulton and I ask for a roast beef sandwich, sandwich is $5.00. It comes with lettuce and tomato. So I says, can you put it on the side? He says 'That'll cost you $2.00'. I says are you fuckin kiddin me??? on the sandwich is five bucks, you put it on the side and it's seven dollars?!"

" I says, who says? He says 'cause my boss said so'. So I'm arguing with the guy for over ten minutes."

Other colleague: " Here's what you do, you tell them to put the lettuce and tomato on top and the bread and mayo on the side!"

Everybody laughs and then throws their hands up at the screen for there sitting in a box at a baseball game is Larry David.

if you want the rainbow, you must have the rain.

a picture I took of a building that caught my attention, as so many of them do.

Pounding the sidewalk as daylight turns to dusk. Seething anger released each time my feet hit the sidewalk. Angry at the lie and because I can see straight through it like shattered glass and because the source thinks they're clever and I wouldn't notice it. A bitter after taste in my mouth that seems to be permeating through my core. If you're going to lie do a better job of it.

Pounding leads me to a place that I've gone by, but never into. There is a happy ending though. Who knew that a tattered photo, broken bottles and blown out safes combined with a really shitty day could be the spark to make me fall in love with my written work again.

I guess creativity works in mysterious ways.